Friday, September 18, 2009

Revelation

Last night I had a bit of a revelation. I may have figured out why it's so hard for me to break in here and have deep friendships.

When I was little I moved every year and a half to two years. Hard? Yes it was; however, I always lived on an Air Force Base where the other kids were just like me. We needed somthing from each other. We could share what we needed and form a deep friendship. I fit in!

Now; here, it's differnet. We go to a great chruch were people are nice and Sundays are fun, we feel like we have friends, then we leave for the week. It's not just at church, but it's a reality the Christian coumminity is the hardest to break into. It's not anyones fault, but people here have what they NEED. They don't NEED me. They have family close by, and life long friends but they don't NEED me. Not like I NEED them. I would be there for ANYONE in an instant, but I'm not asked because I'm not needed. So we are in different situations I NEED friends, I NEED help, I NEED someone to call after a tough day. How can I expect anyone to do that for me when they don't want me to do it for them. And not so much they don't want me to but it in a rough situation or a happy day I'm not on anyones list of people to call so thats why my list is empty. It seems like everyone else has a list. It's hard to add new people in these busy times, I know. I really am a faithful firend and I can be there for you. I can do anything: cook, talk, laugh, cry, drive, babysit whatever so put me on your list please let me prove to be a good friend, let me in PLEASE!!!!

I NEED to have a list too!

3 comments:

The Shoup Family said...

I hear ya! I feel the same way here too. I hope that you find someone who needs you just like you need them, and you can start a great friendship!

The Franklin's said...

I know exactly how that feels, and I am still in the military community! where we are, it is practiacally impossible to "break in" unless you have children. I have a feeling one day we will look back and say this was by far the most difficult duty station for the both of us. Its so strange.
It is very hard thinking about not having those close bonds of friendship, especially like the ones we had we we were kids. Maybe kids are just more accepting and willing to befriend anyone, and adults are more cautious. Who knows, I dont feel like doing the research!
i pray that God brings you that special someone! LoL! No seriously, we really do needs those bonds of friendships, even as adult, so I really do pray that a good friend that lives close by will come along. I certainly know how that prayer goes!

suehall said...

I feel the same way. I am willing and able to be someone's friend but tire of making the first move all of the time. We do not have family here and feel isolated at holidays, etc... I do not have a friend to call when I've had a bad day, want to go out or just want to visit. I have tried to be a friend to many but we just don't seem to click. The last time I had a good friend was 2 towns ago... 11 years ago.